What We Need to Know When We Believe That Time Changes Everything
On letting the waves settle.
Some age old words of wisdom have their ways set in calming our chaotic selves.
But they can also leave us blinded enough to internalize faulty beliefs that keep us too warm and comfortable.
We hear people say it all the time (and sometimes we tell ourselves too, don’t we?) — time changes everything;
Give it time;
Time heals.
While there is so much truth to that, it also seems like there’s a lot of unrealistic expectations attached to the idea of it.
Yes, time changes everything;
Not (necessarily) because situations themselves change, but because (and only) if we allow ourselves to change.
What this also means is that we can’t stay at the same place (especially when it feels overwhelming to do so in any capacity), holding onto the hope of things changing just by the virtue of time.
We can’t continue to ruminate and keep going in circles with the hope that doing it enough number of times will change what led us up the spiral in the first place.
We can’t expect time to change everything without changing ourselves with time.
This is what time does (if we are willing to give ourselves enough of it):
It changes our perspective;
It changes how we think about situations, things, and people — so that when (if) we come back to it, we can understand it from directions we did not approach earlier;
It lets us step away from the crowd of emotions that consume us at any given time, so that we can get rid of all the extra;
Most importantly though, it makes us realize that we can survive (and happily so) without the answers and outcomes we were once so hungry for;
It lets us take a step back instead of staying at the same place, so we can actually move past it (and despite it).
Time lets the waves settle;
And that’s when we see calm where we once only saw chaos.
When we let time pass between us and a situation, we allow our perspectives to switch from what we fight to see into what actually is (or has been).
Time does change everything, but not without changing ourselves first.
